Oct

4

2008

Sigh, I guess the following for the once popular Taiwanese boy band F4 still remains strong. I thought the group disbanded, much to my delight, a few years ago but the four members (Jerry Yang, Vannesse Wu, Ken Chu and Vic Zhou) reunited this week and held a concert in Japan.  The Japanese organizer had only intended to do three shows but the demand was so strong that they had to add three more. From Bae Yong Joon to these four heart throbs of yesterday, there is no denying that the “obasans” are fascinated with chicks who have a dick.

Below is a link to one of F4’s MVs. Get ready to be dickmatized in a lezzie way!

F4 - Waiting For You


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Sep

30

2008

Today was one of those days when I hated my job and thought it was the worst job ever. But some bitch at work sent me this video clip and I decided, immediately after watching it, that my job was not so bad after all.

A train station in India is having a problem with some nasty monkeys bothering the passengers. So some genius who worked there thought of the scarecrow tactic. He hired a man and dressed him up as a monkey (a large one, mind you) to scare off the real monkeys. Couldn’t they have given him a friendlier looking monkey costume, instead of this evil demon looking one?! By the looks of it he’s probably scaring off the passengers, not the monkeys.

If you ask me, I think the monkeys are just sitting there and laughing their asses off at this poor fool who walks like he just threw his back out.  They probably think to themselves, “what a bitch job this is!”, and continue to eat their bananas before they set off to intimidate more passengers.


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Sep

25

2008

Earlier this month, I posted an entry about the scandal surrounding the official 2008 Miss Vietnam winner, Tran Thu Thuy Dung. Apparently the 18 year-old beauty queen did not complete her high school education and the government insisted that all contestants must be high school graduates. Now the Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism’s (MCST) inspectors are calling for her to be stripped of her title because they found proof that she did not finish high school and therefore has breached the contest regulations. Apparently bitch faked her high school end of year exam results to enter the pageant. The inspectors also suggested a hefty fine for the organizer of the pageant since they did not enforce the regulations.

I don’t understand why the government officials are being such hard ass about this. Perhaps they have seen the youtube clip of Sarah Palin’s long lost cousin last year and want to make sure that any Miss Vietnam winner will have at least completed high school in an effort to spare the country of any stupidity induced embarrassment. Perhaps one of the inspectors is a family member of the first runner up and bitch wants the crown badly. I bet she tried dousing pepper spray on Tran Thu Thuy Dung’s dress during the final round but the beauty queen was so focused on winning that she probably did not feel a thing. So much drama surrounding beauty pageants.. which is exactly why I love them!


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Sep

23

2008

Michelle Chia and Shaun Chen are two actors in Singapore who have been seeing each other for the last four years. Shaun has recently announced to the press that he plans to propose to Michelle soon, adding that he plans to do it at a restaurant. So very original I have to say.

Shaun also added that it would take a five-figure sum of cash and not a diamond ring to get Michelle to accept his proposal. According to him, bitch thinks a diamond ring is wasteful when she can use the money to go traveling. Shaun finds that to be a horrible suggestion but insists that they are a loving couple and he will honor her request. Dumbass is marrying a gold digger here and he thinks he is marrying Mother Teresa. If I were him, I would make that in several payments over half of his life time. Maybe one check per year with the payment amount enough for the gold digging bitch to take a beach vacation in Sentosa, where she can find the best man made beach in the whole island of Singapore. Make sure there is some money left for her to stop for a plate of Hokkien mee on her way back. No hungry woman is going to put out.


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Sep

18

2008

People who know me well know that I am a cold hearted bitch. I rarely cry but I do cry at movies occasionally. Usually the scene involves a hot guy dying. Why? The thought of the world losing such a good looking specimen just gets my tears flowing. I also weep when I read stories of young disprivileged Asians making it big in the States. That’s like reading my own life story… not!

Anyway, I was watching the youtube clip of Charice Pempengco’s recent appearance on the Oprah Show today and I was moved to tears. On the show, Charice showed the viewers where she grew up in the Phillippines. She also did a live number. The producers also showed what happened to this little diva’s singing career ever since she made her first appearance on the show earlier this year. All I can say is, Oprah can move mountains. Even since that appearance, Charice has been invited to perform with singing powerhouse like Andrea Boccelli and Josh Groban. At the end of the show, the ever so annoying Celine Dion (who’s one of Charice’s idols) made a surprise appearance via live satelite and invited Charice to do a duet with her at her concert in Madison Square Garden, New York. The concert took place three days ago and I have the clip here. I bet the producers of the Oprah Show reached out to her other idol, Whitney Houston several times but she was probably too busy smoking crack to return their phone calls.

Not many females can make me cry and Charice was one of the few who could do so. Her story is just so inspirational!


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Sep

17

2008

David and Goliath, Inc. is an apparel company in Florida that makes dumbass stuff for people to wear. Here are two of their latest T-shirt designs. I find these to be extremely racist. What the hell!? I would like to know which dumbass is brave enough to wear these T-shirts. I guarantee I will rip his shirt to shreds if I see one (only if he’s cute). But seriously, only ignorant people would sell or wear T-shirts like these. I bet they would sell really well in Spain. They will no doubt have a huge following with with the national basketball team there.


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Sep

13

2008

Here in the States, we have seen a lot of white guys playing Asians on TV. Remember the classic TV series in the 70s called Kung Fu? The actor who played the lead Asian Shaolin Monk character was this white dude named David Carradine.  Heck never mind! Most of you bitches weren’t even born then so you probably don’t know what the hell I am yapping about. My point is, we have seen a lot of white guys representing Asians on TV but we have never seen it the other way round. Now Bobby Lee is going to change that. The Mad TV comedian who regularly plays Asian roles like Kim Jong-il and Connie Chung will play GOP presidential candidate John McCain in the season premiere of FOX comedy show tonight. The segment, “So You Think You Can Dance: President’s Edition,” will feature Bobby as the GOP presidential candidate and Arden Myrin as Cindy McCain.

I don’t think Bobby will make a convincing McCain but who cares!? It’s just great there are Asians now who play white characters. I am greatly inspired by Bobby and have decided to dress up as Paris Hilton for this year’s Halloween. I have friends who are talented makeup artists so I am not worried about not looking white enough. I am however worried that I won’t be able to pull off her skanky behavior and her one wonky eye.


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Sep

11

2008

I swear dumb Asian bitches are everywhere these days. Just yesterday I posted a blog about this dumb Japanese drunk getting arrested for beating up her boyfriend who was watching Kim Kardashian and her big ass on TV. Today I learned that some 52 year old Japanese ajumma was arrested for embezzling money from other people’s bank account to sustain her lifestyle as a hardcore Bae Yong Joon (BYJ) fan.

See, chasing after a chick with a dick is an expensive hobby. Bitch has to travel to Tokyo everytime our girl is in town. She also has to pick up every product/souvenir with him in/on it. Pretty soon this hobby of hers started burning a big hole in her BYJ’s wallet so she had to figure out a way to make more money. She discovered a way to withdraw money from other people’s bank account at different ATM machines. Ka-ching!

If you ask me, I think the one that should be arrested is BYJ and not this crazy ass fan. His irresistible feminine charm has caused her to commit this crime.  The authority should send his ass to prison. I am sure he will make a perfect little bitch for someone who reminds me of this dude


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Sep

10

2008

Usually this only happens to me. Some 46 year old violent drunk named Naomi Masuda of Port St Lucie, Florida was arrested after she attacked her boyfriend during an arguement about Kim Kardashian’s reality show, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians“.

Naomi caught her boyfriend watching his favorite reality show starring the former porn star and accused him of being disrespectful to her for watching that piece of thrash. The two started arguing over his fascination with Kim and his fondness for porn. Naomi was probably pissed that Kim’s ass was bigger than hers. She then started throwing things at him, including a vase that hit him in the face and caused his nose to bleed. She also damaged a bunch of his personal stuff (including his 1985 porn collection, I bet).

The police later arrived and arrested Naomi. They described her as being “highly intoxicated”. I cannot believe someone would get arrested because of that big skanky ass that belongs to Kim Kardashian! Bitch should have calmed herself down. It’s not worth going to prison over a stupid reality show.


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Sep

9

2008

I was a big fan of pageants when I was a kid. Not only did I love watching them, I also liked playing beauty pageants with the girls in my neighborhood. I would always be the winner. Bitches that I despised would always nab the “Miss Congenialty” title, with no crowns on their heads whatsoever. Crowns were made of manila paper, and sashes  were created from extra strength toilet paper so that they wouldn’t tear off easily. I digress.

Speaking of crowns and pageants, there have been some rumors surrounding the winner of the 2008 Miss Vietnam pageant, Tran Thi Thuy Dung. Rumors were that she was stripped of her crown since she did not graduate from high school. The officials put the rumors to rest and explained to the press that Miss Tran did not violate the pageant rules and will keep her title. The competition rules state that all Vietnamese females who are between 18-27 years of age, have no children, are at least 160cm tall, have never had cosmetic surgery, are single and are high school students or above may enter the competition. Miss Tran was still attending high school when she entered the pageant so she clearly did not violate these rules.  By the way, which 18 year old still attends high school? The education system in Vietnam is probably different than the one here. When I was 18, I was a college freshman and was already over beauty pageants. I traded my passion for it with something more elegant and athletic… Synchronized Swimming

By the way, what’s with the “no cosmetic surgery” rule!? The Miss Korea pageant officials tried that this year and look who they ended up with!? A little work on contestants who need it will ensure a high standard of beauty and aesthetics in pageants. Now you may call me a mean bitch after this.


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Everything You Need to Know About Asian Celebs and Restaurants.

About Me

Andrew Lim currently lives in New York City. He was born in Malaysia and came to the States to pursue his college education when he was 18. An avid fan of travelling, Andrew has been to over 30 countries. He flies frequently for work and fun. Andrew has so much inflight experience that he can perform the inflight safety demonstration much better than any of the flight attendants. Just don't ask him to blow into the tube of the life jacket or you will regret it. In his sparetime, Andrew loves to eat. He has a strong knowledge of great restaurants across many cities, especially those servings Asian food. Friends of Andrew have always trusted him with giving them advice on where to dine. They have also trusted him with ordering for the table whenever he is present at the dining party. The only problem is, he tends to over order. Andrew is also the go to person for all the latest and greatest Asian celebrity news and gossips. His friends often turn to him for a quick fix of juicy Asian celebrity gossip. Andrew loves to talk. If he's not talking, he's eating. He even talks in his sleep.

With all these going on, you probably expect Andrew not to hold a full time job. He does have one. Andrew is a food trends researcher and has worked with major food and beverage manufacturers like PepsiCo as well as retailers like Wal*Mart. His recent work project includes researching prepared meals/snacks purchase trends of the Mainland Chinese. Andrew is severely allergic to tree pollens, cats and dogs (thank god not to any food items!). His last allergy test also indicated that he was allergic to dust, roaches and rats. Boy, did he pick a wrong city to live in!

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